No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
