The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
