Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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