I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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