you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize