Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize