I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's shark week go big or go home
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
