something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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