the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
