ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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