well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
