Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
