Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
