Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize