another moral hangover. fuck.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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