I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Sorry my hands just texted you
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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