Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize