are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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