You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize