Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize