I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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