He asked to "fluff my boner.."
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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