My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize