I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
