You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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