great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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