My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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