zippers are such a cool invention
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
