So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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