At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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