Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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