that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i came on her dog
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
