So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
