Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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