Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
