my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
