Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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