Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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