Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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