you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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