i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
