farters have to be the big spoon...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just had sex on a roof
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
