hell yes lets make some ravioli
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
