Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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