I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
