Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
