well you can't waste a boner
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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