im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
