If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
