I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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