Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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