She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
