Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
