he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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