also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
