I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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