There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
