i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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