I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize