You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
