he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
