why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
