Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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