If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
