how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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