All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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