just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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