I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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