Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I party with great urgency now.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize